JURY'S IN: IT WAS A HOAX

Most of you weighed in that the "simply too busy" author wrote her astounding query with her tongue firmly planted in her cheek. Perhaps the underlying mission was to poke at agents who had rejected her.

I hope it made her feel better. Getting form rejections is no fun at all, I understand. But, for most agents, as we've discussed on this blog, the other option is no response at all and most authors don't want that either.

We receive over 100 emailed queries each week. Can you imagine how many hours we'd spend writing personal rejections? We'd have no time to read OR to sell.

So, Ms. Simply Too Busy, suck it up. If you're a fine writer and you've written an exceptional book, some lucky agent will want you to be his or her special darling. Excellent writing trumps all.

Happy weekend to all my author friends!

"SIMPLY TOO BUSY...."

MEMO

TO: Our Loyal Readers

FROM: The "Just When You Think You've Seen It All" department

RE: A doozie of a query

DATE: Today

Breezing through email queries this morning--some good, some bad, one just right--when I received the following: "Please forgive this form letter, but I am simply too busy writing every literary agent in the publishing industry to take the time to inquire individually."

"Huh?" thought I. "Inquire individually? What the heck? Isn't that my name in the 'To' box? And she's 'too busy?' This is supposed to make me what? Pant for her prose? Pul-eeze!"

"Please furnish (she continues), under separate cover (Like an email under an email? Huh?) your contact information and submission requirements. Further, since I'm in communication with so many agents, please don't take this as a rejection of your abilities if I don't respond."

Now I'm really nervous! Will my "abilities" make the grade, cut the mustard, meet with her approval? What if I never hear from her again? How can I mingle in publishing circles, hold my head high or even continue writing this blog?

Comes the coup de grace: "As you know, this is a large and extremely active industry (really?)and I can only afford the time to correspond with those agents most closely aligned with my talent, genre and goals."

"Damn! I just don't think I fit the bill here, said I (quite gleefully)." DELETE.

So, what do ya'll think of this? Is this writer on the level, somewhat demented, but on the level? Or is someone out there playing a mild hoax?

NO MORE FANTASIES, PLEASE

I likes this one!






It's been a busy week. I'm leaving for Boise at the crack of dawn tomorrow and packing files and partials that will accompany me. Although the purpose of this visit is to help my brother and his wife as she heals from ankle surgery, it will be a working trip.

Lots of queries today and lots of "old fashioned" fantasies. I am so overloaded with queries that it's becoming a problem. So I'm initiating a moratorium on them until November 15. That's right. I need to catch up on my manuscripts and partials and hope the flow of queries will slow a bit for the next month and a half.

So, off to Boise I go while Jon (and Norton and Wylie) hold down the office. As you can see, the manuscripts are in capable paws.